Monday, March 23, 2020
From Todd Gibson
CarlandIvalou Bourne
I cannot remember in my 59 years not knowing "CarlandIvalou" Bourne. This is not a typo or a hashtag it is how I know them. It is beyond me how the word “and” even made its way between them.
Love, the benchmark of Christ's love, the acknowledgement now that we all fall short of His benchmark. In our youth, we try in vain to define love and prescribe our own standards and measurements. If we are fortunate and become observant, we may discover examples of true love around us. Perhaps subtle and less flashy then our youthful prescription, we observe two people who have become one in their life. Kind, patient, caring, nurturing, purposeful, tough, stern when necessary, fun and funny (for Ivalou busy). We are always amazed to discover that these examples in their youth were plenty flashy. I was fortunate to have Carl and Ivalou’s example of love in my life.
Please allow me one story of Carl’s selfless devotion. A 1970’s summer vacation on Cape Hatteras, NC. The Bourne’s, Gibson’s and Hardman’s camped in the sand. An adventure of a lifetime was undertaken by the three fathers and three sons, deep sea fishing. An early morning to the boat with a captain and a first mate. Off we went into the sound, passing many fishing charter boats still docked. A question to the first mate about why no one else was leaving was answered with “they aren’t as tough as the captain”. I should have jumped off the boat and swam to shore then. Carl, in a Dramamine induced state, while navigating the calm sound, before reaching the turbulent Atlantic, was already showing signs of motion sickness. Upon reaching the Atlantic it came on him full force. There is no turning back nor did he request it. We were all stricken to different degrees throughout the 12- hour day, except my father, Bill Gibson, who had the constitution of a Billy goat. Even with rough seas we had a great day fishing. Gary fought and reeled in a 50-pound Tuna, Bill a Wahoo, and all of us many dolphin/Mahi-Mahi fish. As I remember, Carl observed some of the exciting parts, but I don’t recall his participation. I believe when he booked the charter, he knew he would be sick the whole day. He was not going to miss sharing his son's experience. That was my first deep sea fishing experience, and my last, or at least until my son or grandson want to go. I learned a great lesson about a father's love and devotion that day from Carl. Upon our return to the camp, I thanked my mother for the large pancake breakfast she so lovingly prepared for me that morning. I am sure the fish appreciated it also.
We can’t measure Love; we can’t see or fully understand the benchmark. But I see the example of Carl and Ivalou in their children Kevin, Garry and Joanna.
I know this is to be a tribute for Carl but for me there is not a Carl without an Ivalou. Forever, together, they are.
